asses how bidding and responses to bidding impact relationships and support how and why fuzzy bidding affects relationships...
Bid= a question, a gesture, a look, a touch- any single expression that says
"I want to feel connected to you."
Response to a Bid= A Positive of Negative answer to somebodys request for emotional connection.
"I want to feel connected to you."
Response to a Bid= A Positive of Negative answer to somebodys request for emotional connection.
5 Steps to make your relationships work
1. Analyze the way you bid and the way you respond to others bids
2. Discover how your brains emotional comman systems affect your bidding process
3. Examine how your emotional heritage impacts your ability to connect with others and your style of bidding
4. Develp your emotional communication skills
5. Find shared meanings with others
Build better relationships
Bid ex: (can strengthen or weaken connection with people)
1. "Knock Knock", "Who's There"
2. "Hey, Mom, when's dinner going to be ready", "Stop nagging! As soon as I can get it on the table"
Bids and responses to bids can be big, overblown, cathartic events such as those seen in the movies:
"Will you marry me Violet", "I will Jack I will!!"
Bids can be small, mundane exchanges of everyday life
"Get me a beer while youre up okay?", "Sure do you want anything else" Any chips"
Bids can be poignant secrets whispered between friends
"You're not going to believe what happened to me last night."
Positive responses to a bid typically lead to continued interaction.
Negative Responses can lead to stopped or misunterstood interaction
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAx2mupAK8Q&playnext=1&list=PL5TGiVKh0DS8XM7DwufK8F0zigF8qKRLC&feature=results_video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCEm_zbzBh4
p15-17: Turning Points: The choices we make in responding to bidding
1. Tuning toward: to react in a positive way to anothers bid for emotional connection
2. Turning against: turning agains one anothers bids for connection, often described as belligerent or argumentative.
3. Turning away: ignoring another's bids or acting preoccupied
Failure to connect?
Failure can prevent the development of emotional connections or cause existing connections to deteriorate.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDRhfYHEoZE
Fuzzy Bidding
Openly bidding for connection can make us feel vulnerable. In career and mating situations especially, our hearts and egos are on the line. we can reduce such feelings of vulnerability by making bids ambiguous or fuzzy. Humor and double entendre are common. If the other person responds positively to an ambiguous or humorous bid thats great, but if the intended recipient fails to respond, the bidder loses no pride.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XE2yXb2byA4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-a04tNcqlo
1. Analyze the way you bid and the way you respond to others bids
2. Discover how your brains emotional comman systems affect your bidding process
3. Examine how your emotional heritage impacts your ability to connect with others and your style of bidding
4. Develp your emotional communication skills
5. Find shared meanings with others
Build better relationships
Bid ex: (can strengthen or weaken connection with people)
1. "Knock Knock", "Who's There"
2. "Hey, Mom, when's dinner going to be ready", "Stop nagging! As soon as I can get it on the table"
Bids and responses to bids can be big, overblown, cathartic events such as those seen in the movies:
"Will you marry me Violet", "I will Jack I will!!"
Bids can be small, mundane exchanges of everyday life
"Get me a beer while youre up okay?", "Sure do you want anything else" Any chips"
Bids can be poignant secrets whispered between friends
"You're not going to believe what happened to me last night."
Positive responses to a bid typically lead to continued interaction.
Negative Responses can lead to stopped or misunterstood interaction
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAx2mupAK8Q&playnext=1&list=PL5TGiVKh0DS8XM7DwufK8F0zigF8qKRLC&feature=results_video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCEm_zbzBh4
p15-17: Turning Points: The choices we make in responding to bidding
1. Tuning toward: to react in a positive way to anothers bid for emotional connection
2. Turning against: turning agains one anothers bids for connection, often described as belligerent or argumentative.
3. Turning away: ignoring another's bids or acting preoccupied
Failure to connect?
Failure can prevent the development of emotional connections or cause existing connections to deteriorate.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDRhfYHEoZE
Fuzzy Bidding
Openly bidding for connection can make us feel vulnerable. In career and mating situations especially, our hearts and egos are on the line. we can reduce such feelings of vulnerability by making bids ambiguous or fuzzy. Humor and double entendre are common. If the other person responds positively to an ambiguous or humorous bid thats great, but if the intended recipient fails to respond, the bidder loses no pride.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XE2yXb2byA4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-a04tNcqlo
Ways to respond to Bids (p37)
1. Nearly Passive Responses
2. Low-Energy Responses
3. Attentive Responses
4. High- Energy Responses
1. Nearly Passive Responses
2. Low-Energy Responses
3. Attentive Responses
4. High- Energy Responses